Unfulfilled

Had a talk with my mom, and almost shed a tear.
*Continued and completed after closing night of the Fall plays.*

Is it how I don't bleed?

When I'm stabbed.

It's how I rise.

When you push me down.

How I can't help,

But to be more than I ever could be.

//

It's not real to be real

Not honorable in truth,

And false in trying to be yourself.

//

The people beside you,

Are not there.

The breath you take,

Is not true.

The girl I love,

Isn't one I can live with.

//

It's an annoyance

To not know yourself.

It's a bother

When nothing seems real.

It's a curse

To live, and not feel alive.

//

I am bold, strong, brave, and amazing.

But I am small, weak, cowardly, and disgusting beyond compare.

//

I am that great person,

That you read about in books,

That you hear about from your friends,

That you see walking down the hall,

That you have come to know as friend.

But no one knows me.

//

Cultivation of anger, sorrow, and fate.

Brings me here.

To a wall of protection.

My fortitude, and my escape.

The only thing that keeps me standing.

//

I lived wise and died foolish.

I reached my best and was alone.

Reborn is the time we walked separately.

//

Upon the hill,

Is a figure of content sadness.

Doing the journey twice.
Flames in the sky
And a bird.

//

Broken strength tied to my past,

Greatness in youth,

Future is both strong

And overflowing fulfillment

With people.

//

Immortality lost

My hand

Covered in tears

Illumination of the sky.

-Milton

Stars and the Suns

I decided to try a different approach to my poetry. It's not that I don't like it...it's just different. I wrote this after a busy day at school.

Repetition and confusion

Break the mind and cut the spirit

With every waking moment

Shattering our being

From,

Trying to get through life

On sleepless nights

Behind the strife

And the unkind fights

Is,

Is a moment waiting for each of us

In,

A quick day

A demanding hour

A stressful minute

To,

The grass under a starlit night

Counting as many suns

As our memorable moments

Staring at nothing

And everything

Something,

Slowing down

Healing every corner of your tattered existence

Until,

The alarm goes off

Routine starts again.

Change not the life, but the number of stars in the revolutions of the years.
-Milton

The Love Within Children

I was inspired by something today, that made me a little sad. Although it's something special.

The innocence within a child,
The cold wind of many winter's past
Of a time
Of a place
Of two children in love.
//
The lost dreams of warmth and tranquility
Are simply deep in the wound
Behind the scar and bound in the blood
Coursing through his veins
Is a love so deep that one can only see
For a moment in life.
//
Two kids that believed in love,
But didn't see it coming.
Lived in the moment and never let go.
//
Things were not made to last forever.
Each girl can't compare to her.
It tears and stabs the will of his soul.
The valor covered by a memory.
The knight is gone
And the sun shines again.
//
For everyone else,
It was too early.
For them,
It was forever.
//
Where did the days go?
The moments about fun and endless laughing.
The times they never thought would end.
The ballad begins and the memories fade to dust.
With scars hidden, the child is no more.
//
Play changed to work.
Breath changed to rasp.
And the lost sight of simplicity
Blinded by task,
Of a boy and a girl.
Past the times of ten,
Beyond the edge of twenty.
Is an empty hole.
//
An absent pain and a familiar feeling.
Brings a faith of endless days
Of running through fields
Under the trees
And in the rain.
With a flower that ran deeper than love
Could ever comprehend.
//
Too young to know.
Too old to understand.
I believe in a time where we shared this bond.
A place in our lives.
A love without love
Within two children
Trying to find each other.

-Milton

Fly

I feel like incorporating both dancing and acrobatics.

I feel the wind at my feet,

I feel the ground at my fingertips,

And as I twist into a handspring,

My arm gives way,

To the unforgiving test of gravity.

//

My foot catches my falling body

And I kick into a B-Twist

As my bandages tear.

//

I tear rolls by as the pain spreads,

From the six-step,

To the flare,

And into the moonwalk.

//

With one last jump,

I fly,

And I collapse

With a grin.

//

-Milton

Limits to the Heart

Written on the bus home from Ashland.

How
How do you know
When you've loved
Too much.

I know my limit.
It is how I get lost in your eyes
And I still don't know you.
It is how I yearn for a minute in your presence,
And never feel content with an hour.
In so many ways and questions,
You are my limit.

Why do I not wish on your love?
Love is a lovely thing.
Yet, love comes a time when
Love cannot love
And is not love anymore.
Until love is found once again.
And obsession lost.

Written so close to you.

-Milton

Look to Understanding.

I thought about this on the walk home a few days ago.

As he crosses the street, a girl stares at him through her car window.

With question and wonderment in her eyes, he stares back

And a simple nod.

And never understanding.

The old woman walking her dog.

Glances and turns to avoid

His pleading eyes.

She'll never understand.

Returning home, the boy looks at this familiar person.

Never known, with a lost feeling in his soul.

Trying with wishful hopes,

To find someone to explain his purpose.

Ending with the man in his mirror.

"Who am I?"

Not knowing himself,

A hand reaches over,

And whispers a gentle wind

"You are a son of God"

Never to fully know himself,

He stands up with a trust in God.

To understand is to trust something with all your heart.

Somewhat influenced by Loren.

-Milton

Seasons of Love

I didn't write this, but I love the lyrics and the whole song in general. "Seasons of Love" is a song from a Broadway musical that's coming to film soon. If you'd like to see the trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/rent-seasons_of_love.html

Seasons of Love

COMPANY

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

SOLOIST

1525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

SOLOIST 2

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

COMPANY

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Rememberthe love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

-Milton

A Heaven

I wrote this while I was in Kelowna on a road-trip.

This is Heaven I thought,

I've got time, I've got space,

I've got music, I've got feeling,

I have a roof, I have food,

I've got sunshine, I've even got snow

I've growth, I have magnificent life.

//

There are trees, there is water,

Breeze comes and goes

Animals glistened in perfection.

//

But I didn't find smiles,

No laughter, no jokes, just tranquility,

I didn't have you

This can't be Heaven

It's a peaceful reality

-Milton

She Smiles

I haven't had much to inspire me lately, but I can always look to the smallest things in our days, the things we take for granted. It truly influences who we are.

//

She laughs, she makes jokes, and she smiles.

She glows, she has friends, and she never seems sad.

I admire the things she does, the way she is,

And from the root of all that, is her smile.

I admire.

//

When she laughs, she smiles.

When she's surrounded by friends, she smiles.

When she smiles, nothing can ever appear sad.

So I smile with her,

From reaction, from happiness, from our friendship.

//

I wish for smiles everytime we meet,

Every second we talk,

And in our thoughts.

An eternal smile.

//

So I remind her,

To always smile.

And never forget.

A friend.

-Milton

Dreams of Morning

I had a daydream, and it was a beautiful thought.

One of those mornings,
With rain to weigh the heart down and sunshine to bring it higher than ever,
Everything in my sight was brighter, and time slowed just for a moment.
Birds were heard all around, music filled every empty space
And past tense didn't exist, all was is and now.
//
Slowly getting out of bed and going outside,
The door opened and I saw her crying.
I didn't ask what was wrong...
I took her hand and we walked through tears from the sky.
She didn't cry from then, or rather...
We cried together.
//
She grasped my hand; the simple touch was invigorating.
"Do you love me?"
With a certain smile I proclaimed,
"Yes."
We didn't talk,
We didn't look,
We didn't listen.
We held each other for an eternity.
//
Looking then, the sun peered above the clouds,
The rain stopped and she walked away from me.
A smile, a wave, and the grass under our feet.
Our story was told.

-Milton

Birthday Wish

I'm 15 for a moment...

Farther from Life,
Closer to Death.
Everything I've missed
Is gone.
//
My brother isn't here,
That foolish obsession is fading,
And in the night sky,
Watch the rising sun.
//
Let the ashes rise,
I'm living the future of my young imagination,
The past of my elderly regrets.
I may forget, or I might remember.
The power of my birthday wish.

Morning Sun

Since May 15 1989, you've changed me. Made me who I am.

Every afternoon
Every evening
And every night.
I know you watch over me.
//
Always with your shining soul,
You support me, take care of me, encourage me, protect me.
From the dangers of the world, with you
Nothing can hurt me.
Lifting my spirits, you are
My morning sun.
//
I look to you in the dark clouds,
When it rains, when it snows.
You're still there.
I may not be the greatest person,
I may do wrong, but
I know you'll bring out the best in me.
You've done the same with so many others.
//
I'll never forget the good times, even the bad
And the future will always hold untold things.
I just wish that this morning sun
Will watch over me forever,
Through the darkest days and the sunny afternoons.
That's what Mother's do.

~-Happy Mother's Day Mom-I love you-~

That Song

-May 5 2005- Memory to Keep Close.

That feeling
Consumes, controls, confines
And liberates, releases.
The power of my inner desires.
Whether the hurt, the glory, the pain
The love.
Makes my heart sing.
//
Never, is the word on your mind
As I stand there foolishly,
Guitar in hand, my heart in yours.
//
Standing there, alone in the dark,
For an impossible miracle, I know you're there.
Each second, note and beat of my life sung for you.
In vain, in happiness,
In friendship.
//
No chance, runs across my thoughts
As you sit there blushing,
I still choose.
On the night I followed feeling,
To tell you a story, to sing that song
My song for us.
For you

~-Dedicated to Dani-~

In Blue Skies

For someone very important to me, that I care deeply for. //Quand il est foncé, les hommes voient des étoiles

Hope gives us power, to see the world in a different light,
The strength to stand, when the thought of impossibility is consuming,
When it rains to the point of never seeing the sun,

It gives me reason to wake up in the morning,
Such is the gift of hope.
//
And if hope could turn a man's life around,
It would be the greatest gift that someone can receive
But if all I ever learned was a lie
It was an illusion of everyday-life
Then I turn to you for comfort
Even then...
//
If hope was that light that came from Pandora's Box
Then you are a star to me
That shines above the heavens
And when I can't see you, I know that you are there,
In blue skies.

-Milton

If Only.

It's been a while since I updated, but there have been plenty of things to write about since my last entry.

When thoughts plague the mind
When dreams fill your head
When feelings corner your heart and escape into the soul
I find you.
//
If I could let you see yourself in my eyes
If the stars could be given to you
If time stopped and darkness engulfed the earth
I would look for your light
If only.
//
Time accelerates, slows, and stops
The fire doesn't burn
And the wind never blew
If only I never witnessed the dream
Then my obsession would have ended.
A hurt to prevent a hurt
But to love and never regret is a hurt worth hurting.

-Milton

Ocean of You

I've found myself captured in a beautiful place.
//
Diving to the end of the ocean
Every drop of water gliding past
My body spliting the water in ease and swift
To reach the bottom.
//
Silence fills the time, yet echoes sing of harmony
So peaceful, so touching, and so dangerous
My life clings to the pain, and to the joy
The Heaven, the Hell, and everything between.
In an Ocean of You.

-Milton

The Evanescence of Life

Thursday February 3 2005 - My Lowest and Highest Moments in One

I was lost in my shadows
The light gone from my eyes
The feeling gone from life
No reason, no path, no end.
//
My body dead, the soul wandering
I stumbled
and with every step I fell closer to the edge
My breath stolen from me
My heart with another
Everything wrong
//
I went to the river to escape
The running water, the harmonious birds, the emptiness
Time slowed, allowed my senses to embrace
I tripped and fell to the darkness
But, something helped me
//
As I looked up, a tall tree had the face of comfort
I touched it's bark, and felt for the first time in a long time,
I felt, saw, lived it's story
It showed me my life and in the night, I found day
A day with people whom I loved
//
Standing up, the ground below me shook with it's pains
The leaves crunched with despair, the clouds moved with anger
The wind spread joy, the water gave flow, and I lived
I felt everything around me and came to realisation
With her holding my heart, my friends behind my choices,
And my dear brother guiding my hand.
//
Strength did not have to come from within just one.
My failure, my recover, the journey.
With haste and power
Is the Evanescence of Life

-Thank you to everyone who cared for me that day - Milton

Without You.

For my one and only brother:

Time passes from minute to minute
From hour to hour
Second to second
With everything changed; it's so hard
Without you.
//
Growing up, knowing that I was safe
Having constant aid, I was spoiled
Spoiled by your gifts
It's in the darkest times I am without you
Without your guidance, and faith in me
My light is exposed, to show nothing
To see that all you've done was protect me.
//
A part of me left with you,
My childhood, my memories, our times
My passion for happiness
Now the dark, a chill, my nightmare
Of a world
Without you.
//
More and more I find each day
You are gone, and though still there
Not within my grasp, my hugs, or my tears
Not there to help me up when I know, that I'm not there
For your grasp, hugs, and tears
In my darkness, I know now
It's my turn.

You've made me who I am.
Good luck in the future, I know that you'll make it far.
God Bless you Ryan, I love you.

-Milton Lim

FootPrints in the Sand

As I walked lost and trying to find my way, I watched my steps. I left a marker to help another, but most of all to help myself.

I left my footprints in the sand
Sand that leaked my soul to darkness
A place I've never seen,
A sight I've never been.
The haven I wished not to arrive at.
//
I lost myself, I fell to my ends,
Though a loss, I left a trail.
To follow, to guide, and to prevent
My footprints in the sand.

//

-Inspired by drifting snow and the fate that led each piece to me.

One Thousand Words

I dreamt of a place where I was with you, but I was only dreaming my heart's desire.

Not one day passes that I can think of you and not smile,
I wish, dream, and hope, but I am powerless
There is light, in knowing that we still share the bond
Of friendship, memories and future
//
To not feel, touch, or kiss you,
A curse, that sets me free
To live and stand strong
But to never be able to hold you close,
//
One thousand words cross your lips
Not one for me,
When in my heart, I know
Life goes on.
//

Inspired by friends and the song One Thousand Words FFX-2

Gone

How do you pick up the threads of an old life, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back.

To become numb.

Lose taste, lose sight, lose touch,

Lose everything that you thought was important.

To never return to where you started,

To find that you are there, though things changed,

Things gone.

//

Like vapour to a blowing wind.

Memories, thoughts, and people, different,

No fear, but calm.

Silence fills every corner of your heart,

Your body's full beat of life steady,

Mind at ease with troubles,

Peace.

//

Yet, the peace is foul,

Ruined by false life.

The mind clings to the past, to return,

but the soul has moved on.

//

Home is not the same,

To realise that nothing has changed,

but the one that matters most to you.

Life continues.

Though the spirit,

Gone

-Inspired by Lord of the Rings ROTK